Sept 13, 2013

You know sometimes I feel like I could be bipolar but then I think again and it's certain people that just drive me crazy! My biggest pet peeve is liars and if I catch a person in a lie then I lose a lot of respect in them. This whole week I have been lied to and lied on and I have had it with people! I have been real nice to people and I guess I have to turn into a bitch just to get the right results. I hate to do that but so many people have pushed my buttons that being nice is not even an option anymore...... I have come to a point that I cry constantly more then I used to that I feel like I'm breaking down my tough barrier. I have gotten more angrier that I could punch trees. (Even though I know that won't do anything lo) For people that I love and care about to lie to me, that just pisses me off.  This whole week has been a big roller coaster ride and hope that next week goes better. I better go before I really get emotional.....so until next time!

Sept 8, 2013

Have you ever been stuck in a rut that you're not sure of what you want to do with your life? Well I'm definitely feeling that way. I get inspired to do one thing and then the next I don't have that feeling anymore. I don't even feel like I'm choosing the right career choice either. As I see everyone going back to college and enjoying their choices, I just feel like I'm just bumming around. I do miss school and learning but I feel like I need some kind of sign or an epiphany to show me the right way. Just like with my relationship with my bf. We are doing good of course but now we have our big problem of him leaving for college ball in Kentucky. We really like each other and he wants to be close to me so this makes it kinda difficult. He was willing to quit basketball just to be with me but I definitely didn't want that because that means that I would be taking him away from his dream, and I wouldn't feel right doing that because I wouldn't want anyone to stop me from mine. If I had close family in Kentucky I would consider possibly moving there but since I don't then I wouldn't want to move there with nobody I know. This is why I sometimes I hate liking someone so much and with someone I connect so much with that my happiness has to be torn away..... Like I'm being punished for something. I think that's why I give up on finding a soulmate sometimes. I hope we can work something out so that we both don't have to lose each like this, but something tells me that he might want to end it with me.... But anyway I hope I find some guidance not just in my love life but in life in general. So I guess until next time.....