About Me!

Hi my name is... well my full name is Markesha Lanette Jones but everyone calls me Kesha, Ke Ke, Ke$ha, or Kesh. A lot of people tell me that I should just change it to Kesha and I know I will later on in life. lol Well anywhooo....I'm a 19 year old girl born and raised in Fort Wayne, Indiana and graduated from North Side High School. Some may have thought that I wouldn't have made it that far but I proved them wrong!! I have been through sooooo much in my life that I will just talk about in this. So if you get lost just ask then. lol But just to start off simple I was born with Cerebral Palsy and I could walk, use my hands you know do anything anybody else could do. I did have a walker that I would use here and there if I needed to. Even though I could walk and all I ended up getting a wheelchair but it was a manual one. By 3rd grade I finally got a power one to make it a little easier for long distance and I could handle it better. Remind you I could still walk and stuff I just had the wheelchair for the times I got tired of walking or anything. It did come in handy later in the years I guess you can say lol. But to go back to my younger years...when I was 16 months old I had this surgery on the back of my neck because they thought there was a tumor back there but found out that it was just an aneurysm which is where a space (anywhere on your body actually but mine was on the back of my neck) and it's an abnormal widening or ballooning of a portion of an artery due to weakness in the wall of the blood vessal. They took tissue out because as my mom tells me I didn't really crawl or walk when I was supposed to and I was pretty much a quite baby I never really cried. (weird right?? a mom's dream lol) But of course my mom thought it was kinda weird so that's when they found that. Since then I have had surgery on my legs, (front and back) back of both of my feet, and hips. To me it doesn't sound a lot or look a lot but I don't know...and all of these surgeries were to help my walking and have better balance. Then when I was in 2nd grade I was at school and as I was heading out to the bus to go home I got this massive headache and it made me really weak and I couldn't function well. I told the lady that was with me at the time that I didn't think I would make it to the bus and that I needed to see the nurse for some Tylenol but she wouldn't let me go even though I had my head up against the wall because I needed something cold on me. So as I was on the bus I wasn't getting any better the headache got really bad to the point that I was crying and screaming. When the bus driver and their assistant realized it they rushed back there to check me out. They saw that I wouldn't calm down and decided to stop the bus....now here's when things got stupid because they were right in front of a fire station and do you think they went in there and got some help....HELL NO!!! They called disbatch to tell them to call my mom to come get me. By the time my mom got there I was unconscious. My mom rushed me to the hospital and they found that a blood vessal had busted on the right side of my head and it was bleeding out. The doctors did everything they could think of and this is where things get scary....the doctor that treated me came out to my mom and said that there might not be anything else they can do and asked if she wanted to pull the plug (if it came down to that) and she got really mad with that and told him to get back in that room and do EVERYTHING they can possibly do so I was in a coma for a day. I was in the hospital for awhile so they could figure out what was going on and if I would be good to go home. So half of my 2nd grade was spent in the hospital. When I finally got out I was fine and I didn't have any major surgeries til 5th grade....and that's when things took a turn for a worse or best however you wanna look at it. With all the surgeries that I have been through my doctor finally told my mom about this one surgery that could help me. He said the only thing there was to worry about was there was a 5% chance that I could lose all my ability to walk and everything but other then that it could improve my walking and it was in the same area that I had that surgery on the back of my neck and it seemed that in that area not a lot had grew or expanded when it should have so they were gonna put some tissue in to fill the space. Well that happen and being the weird odd child that I am I got that 5 percent chance of losing my ability....We didn't really notice it til later on because I did rehab therapy to see what all I could still do...and this whole time I'm in Indianpolis at Rily's Children Hospital then they moved me to Methadist for the rest of my recovery. This went on for a whole month and then I was able to go home. As I was home I still got therapy to keep working my muscles and to see if I would improve anymore and it pretty much came down to that I wasn't. So they took away the therapy and I was on my own after that and the chair that I had at the time was not something that I could work since I was losing the ability of my hands. So I got a chair that would accomodate with the use I did have and that was from the chest up...so they got me a chair that I could work with my head. And you would think something like that would take some time to get used to but no I was like a pro when I did the trial run. So I went with that and it went like this...I had this thing that looked like a headband that went on my head and on that headband was a little mechanizism with a cord that went to this box on back of my chair and if I wanted to go left, right, back, or forth all I had to do was move my head in that direction. And then there was this button that was velcrowed to my headrest and I pushed it if I ever needed to move the chair because when I didn't use it and it sat for awhile it went in standby. I really liked it to a point...there was times I just wanted to kill it. lol I had that chair up until high school because I was outgrowing it and things were falling apart on it that couldn't be fixed anymore. So then my mom saw this chair that could stand me up in it. We worked really hard to get this chair because none of the companies that were here in Indiana or Fort Wayne alone didn't provide it and the company that I was going through didn't want to help us get one so we were on our own trying to get one. Well after all our hard work I finally got that chair in the begining of freshman year of high school. I really liked it cuz I was tall and could finally stand up to anyone!! hahaha! Everyone was soooo facinated with it too. It was so fun to mess with people when I did stand up. Now you would think a chair like that especially coming from out of state would be better equipt and wouldn't break sooo easily and hold up longer then 2 years. Now chairs are supposed to last up to 5 years tops even with repairs and that chair didn't and I had to hurry up and get a new one because I wasn't safe to be in that one anymore so I had to hold out til I got a new one. My mom worked hard on getting me a chair fast because we pretty much had to do home repairs on the chair since no one wanted to help. We got it to hold out and I finally got a new chair my senior year of high school and this chair was almost like the first one I had but instead of a headband that went on my head it has a sensor in the headrest that whichever way I moved my head it went that way. The only difference is that when I wanted to go forward I had to go back and to go back it was the same way as forward another difference was that if I wanted to go backwards I had to click the button and put it in reverse you know like in a car?? lol I'm still getting used to it and I still don't really like it...out of all the chairs I had I'd say my second one was my favorite in ways though. I liked how I could control it with my chin and it was much easier doing it that way because I could control it which way I wanted to go. The down factor on it was that I hated that the joystick was right in front of chest but I really enjoyed it more. I have been through much with life itself and at this point I'm enjoying it and not stopping myself from stuff that people THINK I can't do! I may not be able to walk or use my hands but there are still things I like to do and can still do by myself. I have broke my leg before and yes a lot of people wonder how the heck do I do something like and I try not to bring it up too much because my mom was the one who did it and she feels bad enough about it. lol But she was doing this one stretch on me and went to far with it and broke my fibula. (which is your thigh) You could hear that thing loud and clear and my mom was moving my leg around and it was very loose so we rushed to the hopital and they checked it out and didn't see anything at first but as I was getting up my mom was putting presure on that area and I felt a sharp pain go through my leg and so they checked that out and saw that the bone was split. So I had a surgery for that and they put a rod in to fix it and I haven't had any problems since then and I haven't had any surgeries since then and the only any other time I have been to the hospital was a few months ago for an pneumonia. (and I've only had that twice counting that time) I don't really like the hospital and hope to never really be in it again. lol I love my family and depend on them to be there for me just like they depend on me too. I never really got along with my mom til sophmore or junior year because I was under a lot of stress and needed to figure out how to handle it. So she's pretty much my hero because she has dealt with soooooo much from me. I do have a boyfriend at the moment and I really do love him....we meet a year ago in U.S Government and he just came from Concordia. When I first saw him I couldn't quit looking at him and there was something about him that I just couldn't quit looking. (and it wasn't just because he was hot lol) I felt liked he kept looking at me too but I don't really know....but then I met his brother in Advanced Algebra and I didn't know they were brothers til a few weeks later. When I first saw his brother he scared the crap out of me and I didn't want anything to do with him. lol I was with someone at the time but me and him were having too many problems. So I was really liking the dude I was crushing. But I didn't know much about him and I was too shy to really talk to him plus he was on the other side of the room. Then finally me and his brother ended up talking even though I was afraid of him and one day I was in class early and both of them came in and I thought they were twins at first and when I talked to his brother in math class he told me that they weren't and I also found out that he had a girlfriend too....I was really sad about that and I keep saying guys like that, that I end up liking always have a girlfriend. lol But that didn't stop me from liking him. I did go out with his brother but I still thought of him and finally one day me and his brother broke up. A few weeks later we were chatting on Facebook and he goes "you know what I just found out something" and I said "what is that??" and he's like "that I love you" and I just sat there staring at the screen and was thinking to myself...."I know he didn't just say that he loved me" and I looked back at the message and was like "OMG HE DID SAY THAT!!!" I about fainted (and yes I know it sounds cheesy but it's true) and of course I was still liking him and I mean I REALLY liked him too because even though I was with his brother before I was still liking him too! This is when some people think I did wrong because I went from one brother to the other but if you have feelings for someone and it hasn't even stopped even if your were with their brother or anyone else I say go for it because I don't want to go through life thinking "WHAT IF???" and life is too short for that. So we didn't tell anyone for a minute and he told his brother first since I did date him and he wanted to see how he would feel about it. I still don't feel like I made a mistake because I feel more things with him then with any other guys I've either liked or dated. He knows a lot about me then any other boyfriend knew. I love him and wouldn't want to trade him for NOBODY!! I feel free, happier then ever, and not smothered like before. He trusts me, (at least I hope he does lol) cares for me, and loves me. I have always pray for someone I can always count on, be there for me, love me like no other, and likes me for me and get pass the wheelchair. Now where do I see us in the future?? I don't really know....I did have a dream of us getting married and I have NEVER EVER dreamt that about any guy I've ever dated or liked so I don't know if that means anything?? But this is life and anything can happen I do want to be with him forever (and not just in a friend way) but I can't always trust things to go that way....I love him dearly and I hope he knows it and know that I wouldn't hurt him because I don't like hurting anyone and I try not to hurt anyone. That's the last thing I ever want to do to anyone. But if he doesn't know that I hope he realizes it. I like where my life is now and don't really want to change it and hope it doesn't change for awhile. I am trying to go to college and right now I'm getting into IPFW and I'm only going there to prove to my mom that I can do things on my own and if I can do that then I can finally go to my dream college which is Ball State University!! I know I'll get there...may not be now but I know I will because my best friend Caitlin is never going to let it go if I don't get there! lol Well I let you into my life and it never ends til I die so if you want to follow along with this crazy life that I live (which there is NEVER a dull moment) then go ahead and don't be afraid to comment or ask questions because I'll answer anything really. lol :)