Sept 13, 2013

You know sometimes I feel like I could be bipolar but then I think again and it's certain people that just drive me crazy! My biggest pet peeve is liars and if I catch a person in a lie then I lose a lot of respect in them. This whole week I have been lied to and lied on and I have had it with people! I have been real nice to people and I guess I have to turn into a bitch just to get the right results. I hate to do that but so many people have pushed my buttons that being nice is not even an option anymore...... I have come to a point that I cry constantly more then I used to that I feel like I'm breaking down my tough barrier. I have gotten more angrier that I could punch trees. (Even though I know that won't do anything lo) For people that I love and care about to lie to me, that just pisses me off.  This whole week has been a big roller coaster ride and hope that next week goes better. I better go before I really get emotional.....so until next time!

Sept 8, 2013

Have you ever been stuck in a rut that you're not sure of what you want to do with your life? Well I'm definitely feeling that way. I get inspired to do one thing and then the next I don't have that feeling anymore. I don't even feel like I'm choosing the right career choice either. As I see everyone going back to college and enjoying their choices, I just feel like I'm just bumming around. I do miss school and learning but I feel like I need some kind of sign or an epiphany to show me the right way. Just like with my relationship with my bf. We are doing good of course but now we have our big problem of him leaving for college ball in Kentucky. We really like each other and he wants to be close to me so this makes it kinda difficult. He was willing to quit basketball just to be with me but I definitely didn't want that because that means that I would be taking him away from his dream, and I wouldn't feel right doing that because I wouldn't want anyone to stop me from mine. If I had close family in Kentucky I would consider possibly moving there but since I don't then I wouldn't want to move there with nobody I know. This is why I sometimes I hate liking someone so much and with someone I connect so much with that my happiness has to be torn away..... Like I'm being punished for something. I think that's why I give up on finding a soulmate sometimes. I hope we can work something out so that we both don't have to lose each like this, but something tells me that he might want to end it with me.... But anyway I hope I find some guidance not just in my love life but in life in general. So I guess until next time.....

Aug 27, 2013

So the VMA's was one crazy, and fun night! Even though I wasn't there I felt like I was lol. I had my favorite performances and my dislikes. Of course the BIG talk is Miley and Lady Gaga's performance. I have to say Miley must have been on something to act such as a hootchie on stage like that, but I guess whatever floats her boat. She has definitely gone from America's sweetheart to world's next Lindsay Lohan possibly..... I grew up watching Hannah Montana and loved the show just not really her music, unless I knew it from the show. So I can't really comment on her music ability, so I'll let that be lol. Now the whole Lady Gaga thing was not to out of the ordinary since it is Lady Gaga and all. The only problem I had was that she paraded around in her performance outfit like it wasn't nothing and it was since she barely had anything on. Once again it's their choice and whatever floats their boat. It's just sad to see that people have to be so sleezy just to have a good performance in their eyes. But anywhooo I still enjoyed myself and loved, loved, loved, L-O-V-E-D the comeback of *NSYNC!!! I was having a fit when they came out and couldn't stop dancing and singing after that. I love JT but seeing *NSYNC together made the VMA's even better. And seeing Macklemore and Ryan Lewis perform made me forget about the other performances. (Besides *NSYNC lol) All I can say is that the VMA's outdo themselves every time and can't wait for next years performances! But until next time! :)

Aug 24, 2013

So I got the Blogger app on my phone now to make it easier for me to blog things when I'm away from my computer. So far I'm enjoying it, but we'll see how it goes lol. I've had an interesting past two days, I have gone from being happily involved with someone to happily being alone. (If that makes any sense at all) I haven't really talked about my relationship because of the simple fact that I don't even know if it's a relationship. Technically we've been together for almost 2 months but its been a rocky on and off 2 months. Just a couple days ago I have decided to call it quits but the guy doesn't know it yet, and no I'm not being sneaky or deceitful about it but its just that I haven't even heard from him in a week! I don't know anyone who has been in a relationship where you don't hear from your significant other in week, I mean no calls or text at all to let you know that they are alright or on their mind. I've been in relationships where it was one sided and when I mean one sided I mean I was doing all the work. Not saying that there is anything wrong with that but it can get a little overwhelming and frustrating. I don't usually like to bring up old relationships but for an example I was dating someone who was thousands and thousands miles away, let's just say like New York and even though we were miles away we still kept in contact with each other everyday. We were good friends before we started dating and he finally decided to tell me that he likes me. I was definitely dumbfounded because I liked him too I just didn't want to say anything til he did because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. We dated and had our fun but I guess we knew it wasn't going to last with our state differences. But the point of all this is that how could someone show their care and affection from way afar to someone who is only a mere 45 minutes away?? That is something I can't get my head around..... Well I'm done with it all. I get tired of working my butt off and the only one caring. Not saying that all of them haven't been caring enough but some of them should still respect some things. Anyways back to what I was really saying, since that day I was sick the day after and was having trouble breathing and getting headaches so I pretty much slept all day and it seem to relax me. I think it has to do with getting rid of the obvious thing that was troubling me and taking the time to relax and take care of my well being. Sleeping definitely help me rejuvenate and clear my mind. Then as for today I finally got out of the house and enjoyed the city. I got to do my favorite thing which is shop and boy did I shop lol! With all that I got I am in need of a party. With all the stress that I have been under I have found a way to bounce back and get into that happy state of mind instead of letting my anger get in the way. In fact I am going to go enjoy more of my happy state of mind and watch some movies with some junk, haha! A clear mind comes with happy thoughts. So until next time..... :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIg8kNfJpsg&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Aug 22, 2013

Okay so I know it's been awhile since I've written in a long time but me and my friend have decided that I should come up with a way to promote myself more out there for my career and it was either blogging or YouTubing myself. Since I'm not too confident just yet to be on the camera light I'm going to start blogging for now.... Plenty of things have happened in life and all I can say is that I am blessed to be living and thankful for the people in my life. I have truly found who my real friends were and who not to trust and believe me it sucks learning the hard way. My summer has been soooo busy and eventful. I have enjoyed spending time with long lost friends and my regular crew. I got to go to the first baseball of the season in my town and since I am now legal to drink it was definitely a good night with my friends lol. I got to do 2 firsts in my life and one of them was a major trip. Going to the casino was one fun and exciting trip that I really enjoyed and can't wait to go again. I won some and loss some but definitely had fun. I'm actually planning on going back next month with a friend but we're going to a different place this this time. My other big trip that I took over the summer was my visit to my dad in Tennessee. It was definitely a big trip because me, my friend, my aunt and her two kids decided to take the bus all the way there. It wasn't as bad for the ride there but the ride coming back was treacherous. I enjoyed my stay in Tennessee visiting my dad and his wife and her family, and I didn't want to leave. I felt like it was my camp vacation like I usually had every summer before I graduated, just without the bonfire and camp friends lol. I miss those days....especially my friends. Like I said the bus ride home was a disaster because we got stuck at the bus station for 8 hours and this security guard did not make our time there any better. He kept harassing us and all I can say is that either me, my aunt, my step-mom, or my caregiver/friend might have went to jail that night if he didn't leave us alone. Once he went off duty all things were better. That whole experience taught me something though..... I definitely don't want to take a bus out of town anymore and find a better way for an easier ride. I am appreciating my family more too so that's been a big plus. We may have our ups and downs but hey what family doesn't?! I have also put my college education on hold for the moment because well for one my financial aide has kinda run dry and I have to wait to bring it back up again and the other reason is that I'm not sure that the career that I want to pursue is what I really want to do. I mean I love directing and movies and TV shows but I'm not sure if I could handle all the other technical pressure. I hope something comes to me soon and I get something figured out by the spring time. Well I should go and see what the rest of my day looks like.......until next time! :)

Updates....

So it's definitely been a good while since I've blogged and I felt the need to finally update some people on my life....

This summer has gone by veeerry fast for me that I wish that I could turn back time and change everything. I've lost some good people in my life and I really wished the I could have had more time with them. My cousin was shot and killed in the beginning of June and I was in sooo much fear of my life that I refused to go anywhere for awhile that I didn't even go the funeral. I loved my cousin dearly I just wished that he wouldn't have gotten mixed in with the wrong crowd. This caregiver that used to work for me stole my credit card and money so that was a big thing, and to top it all off my good friend Bethany passed away at the end of June....I never thought so much could happen in one month. I never thought things couldn't get any worse so I kept my prayers high and tried to keep going on with my life. 

With the in mind I thought July would have been better but my now ex-boyfriend moved to Florida with his brother since his mom has cancer. I never thought that it would be this hard to keep seeing people leave but it has taken its toll on me. I was kinda liking this guy not long after he left but he turned out to do a complete douchbag in the end. It didn't bother me that much because I felt like it was time to just settle down and forget my boy crazy ways.... I needed to start focusing on school and get my mind straight! I have a dream that I want to fulfill before it's too late. So far school has been going good so far and I love my schedule. I have been sooo focused that it's made me forget all the other things that I've been worrying about. I hope that this school year goes better then ever and that no more stress comes back to haunt me. If so I hope some of those "so called" friends come back to help me through them. I love them all anyway since I don't complain to much lol. It's been real!
 
~Ke$ha ~

Thanksgiving Recap.....

So Thanksgiving was yesterday and I had a blast! (besides my boyfriend that couldn't come and that my phone stopped working lol) I woke up yesterday pumped and ready to eat that I barely ate til I got to my grannies house. I enjoyed hanging with one of my caregivers until I left and she is crazy as ever but I love her. lol I got to wear my new outfit that I bought the day before when I went Christmas shopping. I love my family so much that I love how concerned and protective they are over me now and likes to look after me. Because since I can't get inside my grannies house (and it is a 3 story house) my uncle brought the big screen TV into the garage so we could watch movies in there. I thought that was so convenient for me that it made the night even better! (at least I thought so) I stuffed myself and took pictures and got to meet family members that I didn't even know about. The only downside to all of this was that my phone died that day.....I called and I'm getting a replacement! yaaaay me! lol But all in all Thanksgiving was great minus the few set backs but still a great day! :)
~K to the E to the SHA!~