Dec. 26, 2013

Ok we must admit that we've all had that one friend that we fall for. Even I can be a victim of that too many times. It's hard to resist them because they know so much about you, and you feel like you connect with them more. But as much as it is hard to resist that urge to not "spill the beans" we can't help but wonder.... What it would be like to be with that person, or would you and that person work out? Sometimes it is hard for us to not let our feelings show but sometimes our emotions can get the best of us. We can try to hide it but you know eventually something will slip. It will eat away at us when all we want to do is confess but we fear rejection. Some people can take rejection easily but most of us cannot. We can never get the words out to say how we feel for fear of being rejected or being laughed at. But sometimes deep down inside we have to do what we have to do, so we can finally get that answer that we've been looking for. It may kill us and have us wrecking our brains but at least it is out there. It can cause tension or awkwardness in the friendship but sometimes that is what we may need to see if that person stays. Life is about risks sometimes and some of those risk can be helpful and less stressful. Making the first move is all it can take for the result to come about. Let it flow and let yourself be free. 

XOXO

~Kesha~

Nov 30, 2013

Apologies.... You know some people have a problem with apologizing and it can it can cause an uproar. Some people don't want to be the bigger person and just want to wallow in self pity, that they have too much pride because they thought they were right and the other person was totally wrong. No matter how big the situation is and if you really cared about that person then you should just forget about that pride and say those words to save yourself from the time and energy. It's definitely hard for some people to admit that they were wrong, because they feel like the other person was in the wrong. But little do people know that saying "I'm sorry" can mean so much and could change a persons perspective on not just themselves but how they think of others. A lot of people take being the bigger person the wrong way, because then they feel like they are the superior one and that people should praise them for being that bigger person. It doesn't make you superior, it just makes you look like a fool because it wasn't sincere and you only did it just to make yourself look good. Saying "I'm sorry" should come from the heart not just from the slip of the tongue. Facing that pride is a tough challenge, but if you have the heart and decency to admit that you were wrong then you're onto the right track. This could save a lot of destruction of some people and help fix any hatered towards anyone, because of that one line it can help any damaged relationships. It can be from friendships, boyfriend and girlfriend relationships, or just family relationships, either way standing up to that pride can mean so much to a person. You and that person may still have your differences but at least you two are willing to try to work through them. Don't be afraid, tell that person how you feel. It may not be all that you have expected but at least you can move on and learn from it. You can hate a person and even that is a strong word, but even as you very dislike a person it still does not mean that you can't apologize. It can take a lot out of a person but it would save a lot of trouble and confusion for most people. Nobody really realizes that by saying "I'm sorry" doesn't make you weak but it makes you stronger. 

💋 Kesha 💋

Nov 22, 2013

Love.... It can break us or make us. Love can hit some of us hard and sometimes there isn't any love at all. You can go from loving someone so hard that you can't pick yourself up from it in the end and everything seems to stop and you can't block your mind. Being able to love someone so much that all you think about is them or all that you do is for them and it can take a toll on your heart....deeply. Love can make us do a lot of things but one thing is for sure is that it can't be based off of a lie. One little slip can destroy a person and make the other person hate you or not trust you anymore. As much as you may try to justify the situation, you can't hide from the truth. It's better to be upfront with anything so that there isn't any confusion or awkward situations. We may wish that we could just take it all away, but it's always going to be there....hanging over us, waiting on you to tell the truth. Bottling it up will not help anything and it will never take away the guilt. When you finally decide to let go and be free it can either have a positive effect or a negative one, but at least it's out. We never want the negative outcome because it may then cause us to think that it was the wrong decision, but it's a way to be honest to ourselves and to the other person. We may want to scream, cry, and get mad at ourselves because we let it happen but if the other person cannot be acceptive of the fact that you're being honest, then maybe it was the right decision to do to see how they would react. Love is a hard drug....and only you can handle the doses..... 

💔 Keaha 💔

Nov 20, 2013

Do you ever feel so ignored by the ones that you care the most about, that you feel like you've done something wrong for them to not really want to talk to you? It's a heartbreaking feeling, and you want to find out what's wrong but you don't want to pressure them into telling you what's wrong with them for fear of them thinking that you're being too clingy or pushy. All you want to do is be there for them but they just seem to push you away. We all have that fear of losing someone and do anything possible to keep them in our lives, but sometimes you might have to just let that person go though. It can be hard but the least you can do is even if that person tries to push you away you can be supportive for that person when they eventually want to confide in you. Well that's it for now....check you later! 

~Kesha~

Nov. 14th, 2013

When someone tells you that they don't want to lose you it's a bittersweet feeling and you would do anything possible to stay close to that person. But there comes a time when you feel like if you try to get too close than that person might push you away or hurt you. You might feel like you don't want to open up because that person might be afraid of what they might see and want to run away, that everything you say is stupid. Things can get better by just what someone says, but does that mean that they really mean it? Some say that actions are better then words, but sometimes we can take those words to heart and get caught up and be blinded by what is real. If we have been hurt too many times, then of course we only take into consideration that whatever that person may say can't be true. Maybe, even just a simple compliment can make you wonder "Why would that person say that?" Sometimes we just have to suck it up and take that compliment and think nothing of it. Of course the mind doesn't think that way and might take things the wrong way but that is why we have to be careful of what to believe. Listen to your heart but think with your mind! But until next time.... 

~Kesha~

Sept 13, 2013

You know sometimes I feel like I could be bipolar but then I think again and it's certain people that just drive me crazy! My biggest pet peeve is liars and if I catch a person in a lie then I lose a lot of respect in them. This whole week I have been lied to and lied on and I have had it with people! I have been real nice to people and I guess I have to turn into a bitch just to get the right results. I hate to do that but so many people have pushed my buttons that being nice is not even an option anymore...... I have come to a point that I cry constantly more then I used to that I feel like I'm breaking down my tough barrier. I have gotten more angrier that I could punch trees. (Even though I know that won't do anything lo) For people that I love and care about to lie to me, that just pisses me off.  This whole week has been a big roller coaster ride and hope that next week goes better. I better go before I really get emotional.....so until next time!

Sept 8, 2013

Have you ever been stuck in a rut that you're not sure of what you want to do with your life? Well I'm definitely feeling that way. I get inspired to do one thing and then the next I don't have that feeling anymore. I don't even feel like I'm choosing the right career choice either. As I see everyone going back to college and enjoying their choices, I just feel like I'm just bumming around. I do miss school and learning but I feel like I need some kind of sign or an epiphany to show me the right way. Just like with my relationship with my bf. We are doing good of course but now we have our big problem of him leaving for college ball in Kentucky. We really like each other and he wants to be close to me so this makes it kinda difficult. He was willing to quit basketball just to be with me but I definitely didn't want that because that means that I would be taking him away from his dream, and I wouldn't feel right doing that because I wouldn't want anyone to stop me from mine. If I had close family in Kentucky I would consider possibly moving there but since I don't then I wouldn't want to move there with nobody I know. This is why I sometimes I hate liking someone so much and with someone I connect so much with that my happiness has to be torn away..... Like I'm being punished for something. I think that's why I give up on finding a soulmate sometimes. I hope we can work something out so that we both don't have to lose each like this, but something tells me that he might want to end it with me.... But anyway I hope I find some guidance not just in my love life but in life in general. So I guess until next time.....

Aug 27, 2013

So the VMA's was one crazy, and fun night! Even though I wasn't there I felt like I was lol. I had my favorite performances and my dislikes. Of course the BIG talk is Miley and Lady Gaga's performance. I have to say Miley must have been on something to act such as a hootchie on stage like that, but I guess whatever floats her boat. She has definitely gone from America's sweetheart to world's next Lindsay Lohan possibly..... I grew up watching Hannah Montana and loved the show just not really her music, unless I knew it from the show. So I can't really comment on her music ability, so I'll let that be lol. Now the whole Lady Gaga thing was not to out of the ordinary since it is Lady Gaga and all. The only problem I had was that she paraded around in her performance outfit like it wasn't nothing and it was since she barely had anything on. Once again it's their choice and whatever floats their boat. It's just sad to see that people have to be so sleezy just to have a good performance in their eyes. But anywhooo I still enjoyed myself and loved, loved, loved, L-O-V-E-D the comeback of *NSYNC!!! I was having a fit when they came out and couldn't stop dancing and singing after that. I love JT but seeing *NSYNC together made the VMA's even better. And seeing Macklemore and Ryan Lewis perform made me forget about the other performances. (Besides *NSYNC lol) All I can say is that the VMA's outdo themselves every time and can't wait for next years performances! But until next time! :)

Aug 24, 2013

So I got the Blogger app on my phone now to make it easier for me to blog things when I'm away from my computer. So far I'm enjoying it, but we'll see how it goes lol. I've had an interesting past two days, I have gone from being happily involved with someone to happily being alone. (If that makes any sense at all) I haven't really talked about my relationship because of the simple fact that I don't even know if it's a relationship. Technically we've been together for almost 2 months but its been a rocky on and off 2 months. Just a couple days ago I have decided to call it quits but the guy doesn't know it yet, and no I'm not being sneaky or deceitful about it but its just that I haven't even heard from him in a week! I don't know anyone who has been in a relationship where you don't hear from your significant other in week, I mean no calls or text at all to let you know that they are alright or on their mind. I've been in relationships where it was one sided and when I mean one sided I mean I was doing all the work. Not saying that there is anything wrong with that but it can get a little overwhelming and frustrating. I don't usually like to bring up old relationships but for an example I was dating someone who was thousands and thousands miles away, let's just say like New York and even though we were miles away we still kept in contact with each other everyday. We were good friends before we started dating and he finally decided to tell me that he likes me. I was definitely dumbfounded because I liked him too I just didn't want to say anything til he did because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. We dated and had our fun but I guess we knew it wasn't going to last with our state differences. But the point of all this is that how could someone show their care and affection from way afar to someone who is only a mere 45 minutes away?? That is something I can't get my head around..... Well I'm done with it all. I get tired of working my butt off and the only one caring. Not saying that all of them haven't been caring enough but some of them should still respect some things. Anyways back to what I was really saying, since that day I was sick the day after and was having trouble breathing and getting headaches so I pretty much slept all day and it seem to relax me. I think it has to do with getting rid of the obvious thing that was troubling me and taking the time to relax and take care of my well being. Sleeping definitely help me rejuvenate and clear my mind. Then as for today I finally got out of the house and enjoyed the city. I got to do my favorite thing which is shop and boy did I shop lol! With all that I got I am in need of a party. With all the stress that I have been under I have found a way to bounce back and get into that happy state of mind instead of letting my anger get in the way. In fact I am going to go enjoy more of my happy state of mind and watch some movies with some junk, haha! A clear mind comes with happy thoughts. So until next time..... :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIg8kNfJpsg&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Aug 22, 2013

Okay so I know it's been awhile since I've written in a long time but me and my friend have decided that I should come up with a way to promote myself more out there for my career and it was either blogging or YouTubing myself. Since I'm not too confident just yet to be on the camera light I'm going to start blogging for now.... Plenty of things have happened in life and all I can say is that I am blessed to be living and thankful for the people in my life. I have truly found who my real friends were and who not to trust and believe me it sucks learning the hard way. My summer has been soooo busy and eventful. I have enjoyed spending time with long lost friends and my regular crew. I got to go to the first baseball of the season in my town and since I am now legal to drink it was definitely a good night with my friends lol. I got to do 2 firsts in my life and one of them was a major trip. Going to the casino was one fun and exciting trip that I really enjoyed and can't wait to go again. I won some and loss some but definitely had fun. I'm actually planning on going back next month with a friend but we're going to a different place this this time. My other big trip that I took over the summer was my visit to my dad in Tennessee. It was definitely a big trip because me, my friend, my aunt and her two kids decided to take the bus all the way there. It wasn't as bad for the ride there but the ride coming back was treacherous. I enjoyed my stay in Tennessee visiting my dad and his wife and her family, and I didn't want to leave. I felt like it was my camp vacation like I usually had every summer before I graduated, just without the bonfire and camp friends lol. I miss those days....especially my friends. Like I said the bus ride home was a disaster because we got stuck at the bus station for 8 hours and this security guard did not make our time there any better. He kept harassing us and all I can say is that either me, my aunt, my step-mom, or my caregiver/friend might have went to jail that night if he didn't leave us alone. Once he went off duty all things were better. That whole experience taught me something though..... I definitely don't want to take a bus out of town anymore and find a better way for an easier ride. I am appreciating my family more too so that's been a big plus. We may have our ups and downs but hey what family doesn't?! I have also put my college education on hold for the moment because well for one my financial aide has kinda run dry and I have to wait to bring it back up again and the other reason is that I'm not sure that the career that I want to pursue is what I really want to do. I mean I love directing and movies and TV shows but I'm not sure if I could handle all the other technical pressure. I hope something comes to me soon and I get something figured out by the spring time. Well I should go and see what the rest of my day looks like.......until next time! :)